Posted by Jennifer | Posted in Past Posts 2011 | Posted on Wed,06-15-2011
One of the hazards of farming is the dreaded farmer’s tan. Nothing like getting undressed and still looking like you have clothes on – for me this is most noticeable on my arms where I tend to get a distinct sleeve line. My whole off-farm wardrobe is then dictated by what I have that can cover up the un-tan portions of my body. Of course, continuing to cover these pale places results in an even more obvious tone difference and a vicious cycle ensues. Well, no more. I am starting a “Just Say No to Farmers’ Tan” campaign.
Gone are the days of wearing long pants and boots – hell, we’re in a drought; it’s not as if I’m going to walk through tall grass and stumble upon a snake. Shirts with sleeves are no go too. Sunscreen is still critical because, aside from the cancer risk, no one wants to look like an old piece of shoe-leather at 45, or ever for that matter. Wrinkles suck and they’re caused by the sun.
So, what’s the modern farm girl to do? Well, if you have a swim suit don that. Personally I haven’t bought a swim suit since I gained weight and have no plans to spend money on something I wouldn’t dare wear in public. If I find a place to swim at home, I’ll just skinny-dip (or chunky-dunk, as the case may be). Instead I resurrected clothes from my past – a tube top that looks chic under a cropped jacket, and shorts that were swim suit cover-up in their past life. I roll the tube-top up and the shorts down to maximize skin exposure. Don’t have a tube top? No worries, wear a tank top but take the sleeves down and tie them together in the front with a zip tie. Instantly you have a tan-line-free top.
There are other essential elements of the farm-woman wardrobe beside the clothes themselves. For example, before sporting my tube top and shorts outside, I slather on a mineral sun block – can’t imagine using the chemical stuff with the quantities and frequency I need. I use Nature’s Gate on my body and Clarin’s on my face. The Clarin’s stuff is expensive but one little bottle lasts for several seasons, feels light, and does a great job. Not really tan related, but next, and this is crucial, I apply mascara. Mascara, you ask? Yes, it would be absurd for me to be in the field in nothing but a tube top, short shorts, body odor, a thin layer of dirt and sweat coating my body and NO make-up. Even a chicken-farmer needs a little “glamour.” The following, paired with either flip-flops (dry weather) or Crocs (wet-weather), is my wardrobe on the farm:
Please take steps to eliminate farmers’ tans from your world, don’t forget the sun screen or mascara, and please call before you visit so I can be decent when you arrive.